Fair Usher, I would have a word with thee.
– Pray, Kells, tell all; I’ll gladly hear thee speak.
I’ve met a maid whose aspect charmeth me.
She’s named T.T. and hath a rosy cheek.
– Alack! Black day! This cannot be the truth!
What sayest thou? Thy homie bids thee tell!
– I too have bed this wench; my phone holds proof!
My heart, it burns with all the fires of hell!
– R. Kelly, friend, we must avenge this slight.
I’ll call her up, and thou wilt stay concealed;
She’ll get into the airport late tonight;
We’ll ambush her and all will be revealed!
O what a wicked, cruel, and heartless churl!
To think that we had messed with the same girl!Applause.
Wrong. Not in iambic pentameter. Re-write!
Am I missing something? Seems like iambic pentameter to me…
Could it be that cruel is two syllables? Unless you pronounce it “crule” but it would have to be elided.
Guys, it’s not like Shakespeare got it perfect every time. In fact, he purposefully didn’t, and neither does this — “same girl” is clearly a spondee, which makes sense, because it’s supposed to be loud and angry: SAME GIRL!
The best conversation on my dash today. Also, no one’s pointed out that this is a totally legit plot for a Shakespeare play.
